The time after moving out of my parents house is somewhat funny to me. I grew up in a household where my dad, for the most part, ran the show. And what that meant in my specific case of upbringing is that my influences were monitored throughout my (0-18yr) life heavily but as I got older I was given more freedom to act on my own. I am still clueless on whether my parents did this purposely or was it circumstantial. Anyways, like I said before, it was funny once I moved out of the house and saw that my mothers side of the family, which was more matriarchal and also had an impact on my upbringing, was always worried about me. Like if I didn't check in with them every couple days, weeks, or so they'd set the family a buzz with all types of questions and such and if I wasn't there to answer questions most of the time people would just make shit up. It just came to me now like after 9 years of (legal) adulthood that maybe the hardest part of parenting isn't during 0-18. Maybe the hardest part is when they are out of the nest and the fam (because it takes a village) has to wonder to themselves "did I prepare them properly?"
Fuck a symbolic report card for the president. The true grade of parent is how a kid handles themselves when they're not in the presence of their parents...or better yet when they no longer have to fear the punishment from their parents. That's how you grade a parent.
I was reading Esquire last night and this jumped out at me:
ReplyDelete"...the purest epiphany of parenthood may be the simple realization that your children are not you"
Since that's the case, I think that what we do as adults might be a good way to gage if our parents raised us "right" but at the end of the day, we are still our own person aside from every tool they have provided or not to be the person we are.
That's how I grade my parents...by the amount of good stuff they've provided me with to be my own person separate from them :)
I like that. I like that a lot
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