Wednesday, April 29, 2009

"What you eat don't make me sh*t"--Jay-z

I came up in the church...And one thing I never got was how another persons different religious path would cause so much distraction.

People straight up talk about boycotting folks when they find out their beliefs deviate from their own.

"Oh hell naw...dude say forgive us our 'sins' instead of 'trespasses' when saying the Lords Prayer! He must be an agent of the devil!!!"

People trip me out with that bullshit. Seriously I don't care what the hell you believe. What I think about is what you do. And that's all anybody should worry about if anything at all, because when it comes down to it what somebody else believes has nothing to do with you str8 up. That's why it's called a belief because it happens in your head. Now when muh sukkas start telling people what they should believe and shouldn't believe that's when you should worry. Fortunately for them, the people that tend to freak out also are typically the one that try this tactic.

Where did this blog come from you ask. I was on facebook and I saw someones status that said that "Christians should not watch Oprah"...I didn't know any reason why someone would make such a claim. So I Googled it and came across a video that to put it simply was all about fear mongering. The way it came off was very reminiscent of the Bush campaign...basically a lot of empty claims meant to stir people up.

Look here

And...What the hell does her beliefs have to do with her trying establish a Peace Alliance??? Or her involvement with Obama???

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Ummm...WTH hell happened????

"It's funny we pay taxes, but don't pay attention."--Freeway

Is it just me or when the elections were goin on everybody and their momma turned into Tom Brokaw of the blogosphere and ish??? Now that Obama is in there, what I wanna know is what happened to all the political blogs? Are these same people still paying attention? Or was is just more inspiring to write about when "4 more years" was a possibility?

I hope they are still paying attention. Just because we may have a good dude at the wheel that doesn't mean that somebody still won't try to peel your cap back...And I hate to even take that tone with it. I would like to think that people can be motivated to pay attention for a reason other than the fear of getting screwed...but hey...

Truth is, it's just generally a healthy habit to have, being aware of the world around you.

Bitter Beer

"Sometimes I be like fuck bitches, for all those nights I never had bitches"--DMX

Synopsis: Loneliness can make you bitter.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Got about bad mojo

Thursday, April 23, 2009

My first crack at animation

My class partner had already drawn the majority of the sketches for the main character in a previous class she had taken. So I let her stick to drawing him for the project while I took it upon myself to match her style for the background and develop a story around it. Basically I ended up drawing way more than I had anticipated. Way more than my partner. It kinda pissed me off at first, but she made up for it by doing all the sound and organizing it all on Adobe After Effects.

**Disclaimer: This joint is very rough looking...but don't get it twisted... I CAN draw extremely well.

If I were to do it over I'd try to make sure things ran a bit smoother...more fluid...and of course up the quality of the drawings.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Taking aim at all you haters

I hate it when chicks make jokes about guys pee aim. That shit pisses me off. Forget about the fact that they have to sit down to pee...I'm not gonna even get petty on that. I'm just saying...Until you've woke up with morning wood...Word to Prodigy "You'll never feel my pain". That shit is thee worst. Talk about random applications of math...when faced with an unbendable wang...which is even worse when you're not getting any...cats gotta become straight up geometry whizzes (no pun intended). The shit is crazy. And that's not even the end of it...Sometimes we can be directly over the damn toilet...We'll look at our wangs and think "bulls eye"...and then out of nowhere the pee stream will shoot out sideways or split two or three wtf??? Oh yeah...and God forbid you have to shoot a deuce with hard wood. That shit is a serious mental exercise not to either shoot yourself in the face or spray the wall in front of you (c) 40 yr old Virgin...So yeah...shut that shit

Monday, April 20, 2009

Greatest Porn TItles of all times!!!

I was doing a little flick downloading...Something that, believe it or not, I haven't done in quite a few years... And I was reminded that one of the things I liked about the flicks, besides the actual flicks, are the hilarious titles. Here is a (long) list of some of the funniest titles I was able to Google. Enjoy...

Face Jam
A Clear And Present Stranger
Add Momma To The Train
Any Given Cumday
Batman in Robin
Big Trouble In Little Vagina (I think this one is my fave of the bunch)
Breakfast On Tiffany
Breast Side Story
Bumfight At The OGay Corral
Charlie's Anal
Children Of The Cornhole
Chitty Chitty Gang Bang
Clitty Clitty Bang Bang
Crocodile Done Me
Cum And Cummer
Cunt Hardly Wait
Diddle-Her on the Roof
Driving Miss Daisy Crazy
Ed's Wood
Ferris Bueller's Jerk Off
Field Of Wet Dreams
For Your Ass Only
For Your Thighs Only
Forrest Hump
Forever Hung
Forrest Gimp
Full Metal Jackoff
Glazed And Confused
Going For Sloppy Seconds
Honey, I Shanked The Kids (this one is kinda scary)
Honey, I Shrunk Your Clit
I Know What You Did Up The Bummer
I Know Who You Did Last Summer
Inspect Her Gadget
Intercourse With The Vampire
Jurassic Poke
Lawrence Of A Labia
Leaking Beauty
Lord Of The Cock Rings
Man On The Poon
Men in Back
My Best Friends Wetting
My Big Lebowski
My Best Friends Wetting
My Big Fat Greek Woody
On Golden Blonde
Riding Miss Daisy
Riding on Boys in Cars
Romancing The Bone
Saturday Night Beaver
Saturday Night Fever Blister
Schindler's Fist (sooooooo wrong)
Screw Momma In The Train
Sex Trek: The Next Penetration
Sleeping With The Enema
Some Big Dick Head This Way Comes
Sorest Rump
South Pork: Big Long and Uncut (I'm actually curious at how they pulled this pun intended)
Sperms of Endearment
Starshit Poopers
Tango and Snatch
The Bad Nudes Bared
The Crocodile Humper
The Empire Likes Crack (could also be a crack heads gone wild sequel)
The Empire Stikes From The Back
The Jism Of Oz
The Little Sperm-Aid (Undah da sea!!)
The Loin King
The Man Who Blew Too Much
The Pelican Queif
The Royal Tenderbuns
The Spooge-itive
The Wadfather
Three Men And A Barbie
Throbbin' Hood
Twat Lies Beneath
Twin Cheeck
Weapons of ass destruction
White Men Can't Hump
Will He Bonk Ya In The Chocolate Factory
Willie Wanker Up the Chocolate Factory
Young Buns
You've Got Male (this one was pretty un-creative)
You've Got Male Genitalia

feel free to add...

Saturday, April 18, 2009

I'm happy that I am able to see my different characteristics and I'm able to see where they come from...

My pops is a very smart man...but some of the ways he tries o get his points across have been a lil nutty. For instance I remember back when I was like 7 years old, like the average kid when I got hungry I didn't wait til my parents felt it was time to feed me...I'd just go up to one of em and say in the winiest voice ever (the winier the hungrier)..."(Mom/Dad) I'm huuuuuuungry." I guess my dad thought he'd fix me one day. I went up to him to tell him I was hungry and he was like..."NO YOU'RE NOT!" Then he went into a stack of mail on the counter took out this pic of some kid in Africa he was sponsering on one of those Feed the Children joints

and was like "HE'S HUNGRY!!!"...I looked at him confused as shit....Still Shit like that stuck with me tho. And though I don't agree with the situation which was probably spurned from annoyance more than anything else, I do appreciate the mentality...It has helped give me the ability to look and say "I don't have it that bad"...the ability to connect with complete strangers... Truly a very bizaarre blessing in a CGI...Industrial Lights and Magic...LucasFilms disguise.

This video is incredible


Friday, April 17, 2009

Maybe I just need to go watch CB4

Quick pick me up

That last post was threatening to put m in a mood for the rest of the day. Hopefully this will help me kick the funk..."Did I mention before that I can dance?"

the face of war

Today I was in one of my graphic design classes...and in this particular class we just have a a huge collection of magazines for collage I'm going through hem looking for something interesting and I come across this wedding picture. The saddest thing I've ever seen in my life. Damn near moved me to tears. The Groom apparently came back from the war with third degree burns all over his face. His head didn't have any recognizable features on it and yet there was an aura of sadness surrounding him. The bride reflected the sadness...not smiling...but instead with a very disturbed look upon her face. The only thing remotely pleasant in the entire picture was the grooms military uniform which was so clean and organized.

I'm sure there is something philosophical to be taken from this. Something deeper I could take from it other than the flat cliche that war is hell...

But for now... I can't find it.

I was tempted to scan it and share it but I didn't want to have that feeling again.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

"Ode to the Tongue Ring"

The tongue ring resonates setting off the Pavlovian effect in the hood...

You're making a fool of me
A tool

Hammers, barbells
Yeah now you have the power
But somehow I became weakened in the process

Got me sitting over here thinking of complex situations involving you and me
Got me lost in complacency

Tongue ring why are you so deafening?
You've got all my attention

Fronting on me
Telling me you're just for decoration

When from here...
I could swear your waving at me

Got me perplexed by your mixed signals
I'm lost in your wave
I'm out to (sea/see)

Can't help but to stare as you flare like Chicago fires in 1851
Eyes involuntarily following the glare

Must find equilibrium

You got me hung from the tip of your tongue
yet yelling out "Follow me!"
and my eyes are compliant

Tongue ring you've got me in a trance

--John C Jorif II©

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Classic commercial

What they don't show is that afterwards his dad really isn't mad at him for smoking...He's mad that he bought dirt weed. "I would've taught you better than that!"

irrationally speaking

It just occurred to me the other day that stripping is the most irrational profession out. Where else in society could you conduct business the way they do? If you went to a restaurant and saw delicious food everywhere, then picked the food you wanted to eat...and when the waiter finally came they showed you the food, made sure you smelled its aroma, brushed the food slightly across your lips, and various other activities till you're extremely hungry...and just when you are ready to eat they take all the food away and charged you...You'd probably want to beat their ass. If you went to a car dealership and they charged you just to get in a car and not drive it, you'd look at them crazy...

I'm just sayin...

Monday, April 13, 2009

God has a sense of humor

Why looking for a mate at the club typically doesn't work...

You gotta look at the bait that the different sexes put out...and the rule (generally) is you get what you put out....

Expensive looking ish - Chains, Notoriously expensive clothing, Expensive glasses (in the D that = Cartiers), Expensive cars.

Typical results : Hood-ratius Erectus...some gold digging skeezer skank skallywag. Great for one night stands and parading around your boys...but if you try to wife her chances are one of the following is in you future..
-She'll try to run your pockets
-Baby momma drama
-she'll just as easily be snatched up by the next dude with shiny things
-Being that she values dumb ish so highly usually means she isn't too by getting serious chances are you're dooming yourself to numerous idiotic scenarios.

Skin - breasts, ass, legs

Typical results : Chances are the more naked the girl is the more likely she falls into the chick that bites the bait above... but even if she's not... First they'll be sure to catch the attention of the worst of the worst first...Thugnegroidius-Maximus...basically the male equivalent of the chick above. Chances are you'll be...
-Cheated on...even the friends tend to be fair game
-extorted..."Go to work honey I'm gonna work on finding the rest of the hidden features in the new GTA. Don't forget to pick me up some Frosted Flakes while you're out."
-A run around (not always the case)...a lot of cats that do the club thing find it difficult to do the real relationship thing. "What? So you mean, I gotta stop getting numbers at the club??? Sheeeeiiii...".

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Word? you say I'm fighting who again??? Sheeeeeeeeeeiii....

De Paula was a braver man than I.

3 stacks said it best

Took a shower kinda sour cause my favorite
group ain't comin with it
But I'm witcha you cause you probably goin through it anyway
But anyhow when in doubt went on out and bought it
Cause I thought it would be jammin
but examine all the flawsky-wawsky
Awfully, it's sad and it's costly, but that's all she wrote
And I hope I never have to float in that boat
Up shit creek it's weak is the last quote
--Andre 3000 ("Rosa Parks")

Well this is how I sum up my thoughts on the most recent Jadakiss effort.
After years of burning his joints without any intention of buying
and ending up with dope ish...

I went out and copped his most recent album,
popped it in and my radio regurgitated it
like it was a vodka and milk smoothie...smh

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Million dollar baby whupped yo ass!!!

After being burglarized twice over the winter, 29-year-old Tiffany Friday wasn’t about to let anyone get away with stealing her things again.

Police said Lonnie Lane was burglarizing 1630 Waverly Ave. when the woman living in the home discovered him. The police report stated that 29-year-old Tiffany Friday chased Lane, 30, tackled him and held him down until police arrived.

“I was mad. I mean, they had took, taken everything from us. I mean, they took my daughter’s games, my son’s games, they took TVs, computers,” said Friday.

Friday said she chased the men from her home, through her backyard and into the woods. She then ran back home, got into her friends’ car, and told them how to get to the other side of the woods.

When they arrived, Friday said, Lane was just coming out of the woods. When he recognized her, Friday said, he threw a brick at the car.

“I got hit with sticks, stems, anything they could pick up, they was just throwing at me to keep me off of ‘em. But, I kept runnin’, I was not gonna stop,” said Friday.

Friday said she and her friends piled out of the car and grabbed Lane.

“I grabbed him by the back of his shirt and I hit him in the woods. And as I went to go for the other one, he grabbed the rest of the stuff that the guy dropped and he got away. I said, ‘OK, you can get away, but this one right here, he’s not goin’ nowhere,’” said Friday.


I would say dude should probably consider a career change but no one could've seen that ass whuppin comin...smh...A billion kudos to the chick (a sista by the way) who got tired of being victimized and bossed up on her victimizer... The world would be a better place if we all had the guts to do that.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

This week in WTF!?!?!

Citing Racism, Walgreens Pulls 'Chia Obama'

Walgreens is ordering the removal of the "Chia Obama" from its stores in Tampa and Chicago, saying the ceramic-plant figure of the chief executive is inappropriate for sale.

Spokesman Robert Elfinger said store managers have the ability to market products of their choice. But the top brass of the Deerfield, Illinois-based drug chain was not amused by some of its Tampa and Chicago managers' choices to market the President Obama likeness.

"We got some complaints from people that they thought it was racist," Elfinger said in a telephone interview.

We can't wait to see the chain's Halloween mask lineup.

The "Chia Obama" can be found at


Ladies...get ya girl...she's waaaay out of

(Source : Time Magazine)

Anti-feminist lawyer and activist Phyllis Schlafly really doesn't like being victimized by feminists trying to make victims out of women or get her gay son to advocate for his own civil rights.

In an interview with Time's Andrea Sachs, Phyllis says she's super-proud of her work in limiting women's rights in America. She's just not super-clear about why.

It would have given vast new powers to the federal courts because the Equal Rights Amendment did not define the operative words, which were sex and equality. So what does sex mean? Is it the sex you are, or the sex you do? What does equality mean? Does it mean equality of individual people like the Fourteenth Amendment, or does it mean the equality of a group?

So, basically, Schlafly's argument, such as it is, is that the Supreme Court might have defined "sex" in the Equal Rights Amendment as not gender but intercourse? And that there are no other laws that define groups of people as equal?

Also, can you "do" sex?

Anyway, according to Schafly, the problem with the institution of marriage is not its infiltration by The Gheyz, but what feminists have done to it.

"My own belief is that the problem [facing] marriage is maybe only 5% a problem with gay activism, and 95% a problem with feminist activism. [Feminists] have given us divorce, millions of fatherless children and the idea that it's O.K. to be a single mom. I'm not talking about women who lose a husband for one reason or another. We're talking about the idealization of a single mom. I believe that the worst thing the liberals did in this country was the Lyndon Johnson welfare system, which broke up millions of marriages by funneling taxpayers' money solely to the woman. That made the father and husband irrelevant.


(Men, you see, have nothing to do with leaving their wives or getting anyone pregnant.)

Schlafly also says she wants to correct the impression that she's opposed to women working; she's just opposed to them working while they have children at home (are you listening, Sarah Palin?).

"Well, that's ridiculous because obviously I've had a wonderful life and I'm an example that women can do whatever they want to do. I've had it all, but I've had it at different times in my life. I spent 25 years without any income, a separate income, raising my six children. And after that I had time to go out and engage in politics."

Yes, I have no doubt that Schlafly was not doing well financially.

But, you see, the feminist movement doesn't honor Republican women who are successful, because if we note that there are 3 or 4 successful women in the world, then our argument that the other 3.5 billion women in the world deserve equality and need help getting it will be negated.

The feminist movement is not about success for women. It is about treating women as victims and about telling women that you can't succeed because society is unfair to you, and I think that's a very unfortunate idea to put in the minds of young women because I believe women can do whatever they want. Feminists don't honor successful women. You never hear them talking about Margaret Thatcher. Take Condoleezza Rice. She's a remarkable, successful woman. You don't hear the feminists talk about her or Carly Fiorina or Jeanne Kirkpatrick. They don't talk about them because they are just determined to preach this idea that women are unfairly treated in our society and they need legislation and government and taxpayers' money in order to get them a fair break. 

Monday, April 6, 2009

this is ill

It fooled me at first...I actually thought it was Bruce getting ill with it

An REEEALLY old school review of T.I.'s "Whatever You Like"

Quite frankly these "old heads" surprised say the least


Sooner or later it all comes crashing down...and everyones around


A Palin family spokeswoman Monday is continuing to push back against recent claims from Levi Johnston, saying the former fiancé of Bristol Palin told an outright "lie" when he said the two were allowed to live together.

"Levi has never lived under the same roof as Bristol or any of the Palins," Palin spokeswoman Meghan Stapleton told CNN.

In an interview that aired in full Monday on the Tyra Banks Show, Johnston said he moved in to the Palin household shortly before the birth of son Tripp last December.

"I just wanted to be there for her when she had the baby," Johnston said, adding the two were allowed to share a room.

"Do you really think the governor and Todd would have allowed that," Stapleton said in an e-mail.

In a statement released late last Friday, Stapelton was also sharply critical of Johnston for appearing on the show.

"We're disappointed that Levi and his family, in a quest for fame, attention, and fortune, are engaging in flat-out lies, gross exaggeration, and even distortion of their relationship," Stapleton said. "It is unfortunate that Levi finds it more appealing to exploit his previous relationship with Bristol than to contribute to the well-being of the child."

But in the interview with Tyra Banks, Johnston said was driven to "break his silence" after reading several news reports that were "not true."

"I have seen a lot of stuff, read a lot of things in the newspapers and news and it's time we get our story out there," he said. "I have seen a lot of stuff saying I've done steroids and drugs and cheated on Bristol and that kind of thing, and it's not true."

Johnston also described a currently chilly relationship with the Palins, saying the Alaska governor "doesn't want me around, I don't think." Johnston, and his mother Sherry, said they may go to court in an effort to be granted 50 percent custody of the child.

Johnston and Bristol Palin were thrust into the spotlight last September when Sarah Palin was chosen to be the Republican vice presidential candidate. During the GOP's national convention in Minneapolis, Palin revealed that Bristol, then 17 years old, was pregnant with Johnston's baby and the two had plans to marry.

The Alaska governor later indicated the wedding would occur this summer. But news surfaced last month the two had split.


Now I could be wrong, because right wingers tend to be pretty loyal (anyone that can back Bush for 8 years is a loyal muh sukka)...but it seems like a Palin 2012 ticket is looking less and less likely. But then again...who would they get to take her place?

Sunday, April 5, 2009

And if you don't know, now you know

"The No.1 Ladies Detective Agency" comes on HBO every Sunday...It stars my baby mizzel Jill Scott. Check it out. Its one of my new favorite shows.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Another public service anouncement...

Being put up on a pedestal to get f*cked and being put up on a pedestal ARE NOT THE SAME THING!!!

This message has been brought to you by the kind people at yo mamma n' em. That's "Yo mamma n' em... Saving one naive chick at a time"

Thursday, April 2, 2009

the beginings of Pixar circa 1983