Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Prince isn't gangsta

It was my Junior year in college. I in my dorm room was doing my daily ritual of glancing at the social network of the time and listening to music when...BANG!!! This grown ass man who resembled Angry Man from Martin kicked open the door and then walked in a very creepy fashion.

Dude looks at me and asks me if I'm (my room mates name). I tell him no. He tells me to tell my room mate that he's looking for him and walks back out leaving me with a wtf expression grooved into my face.

Turned out that my room mate at the time apparently had fucked and fucked over thee wrong chick. Once I informed him of what had transpired he proceeded to get ghost(or so I thought). So I'm excited to have the room to myself, but my nerves are still a lil bad from fuckin Black Snake Moan

....Kool Aid Manning his way through my damn door. So I started playing laid back music to chill out with.

About 5 or 6 hours pass. It's late. I'm in the bed about to go to sleep with Prince greatest hits playing in my radio. When out the blue my roommates older brother walks in the damn room...Armed. I guess my room mate got a lil shook and called his bro just in case Lando Calrissian made a return.

So I'm in my bed and he's on the other side of the room on some Malcolm X shit...

with Prince still playing in the background. Eventually the whole 2 men in a dark room with Prince on got so awkward I ended up having to put something else on more appropriate. I didn't get much sleep that night.

The end

Monday, January 25, 2010

A sucker baby boom

Rewind to last summer...

I was in the process of finishing up my bachelor's degree so I decided to take a 1 week class in traverse city (a 5 hour drive up from where I live) to satisfy a program requirement. Anyways, when I got there I met this older dude. He was in the class with me trying to satisfy the same class requirement so he could graduate the same time as myself. There wasn't really anything extraordinary about the guy except for the fact that dude was knocking on 50's door and was single. But if you see the dude in action, all wonderment of how that occurred goes out the window. Dudes "game" is like that of Jerome's (c) Martin but without the charm. So basically, all aggression and corniness.

After half the week had gone by I had gotten pretty cool with old dude and he decided to tell me about this online "relationship" (for lack of a better word) he had been having for the past month or so. Dude was like "yeah I've been messing with this African babe over the internet...yadda yadda" "She's bad as hell...blah blah blah" and then he asks me if I wanted to see pics. So I'm like yeah why not. So dude busts out his laptop and brings up the pics and I'm like...yoooooo...that chick is no African.

Dude had pulled up pics of an internet model a cousin of mine used to obsess over named Absolutely Amber. I'm talking cuz used to buy website memberships and the whole nine...One day me and cuz had attended a block party in Detroit and found out that she was a native Detroiter.

So I tell ol boy the deal and you can tell he was mad disappointed. Apparently, somebody was using the pic to try to scam money out of the guy. Fucked up right? Anywho, dude wised up.

Now what made me tell this story was that just yesterday I was watching MSNBC and Chris Hanson (of To Catch a Predator fame) had a show entitled "To Catch an I.D. Theft". And in it Chris was trying to find the center of these scams, but this was damn near impossible seeing as though once a credit card number hit the web purchases almost instantly began occurring all over the globe. So Hanson decided to set up a website store himself with the premise that you can use stolen cards there without them checking. And pretty much instantly people started buying from the site. He then saw that some of the the delivery locations were right here in the U.S.. So using a fake delivery company he delivered the packages himself and found out that older single folks are getting scammed.

Basically, the scammers send out spam letters out playing on the sympathy of the reader. After the reader bites they show them fake pics of themselves trying to set off some fake ass love connection. What follows that is that the victims are conned out of giving money and also fowarding packages to Africa, Australia, and other places. The scammers were getting over making millions of dollars. Anywho... so Chris informed some of the folks that they were getting scammed and they let him use their accounts to follow the packages. What he found was that there is a network of internet scams coming out of Nigeria. And that is just one of the cons that they run out of the country...

Small world right? be careful folks. Make folks aware if you hear any shit like this going down in your area.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Reach for it

Relationships are work... Like an actual job. Like you put in serious hours, have good and bad times, and you get paid whatever you deem to be valuable [out of the relationship]...and if you're not getting might wanna keep looking. Real Talk. But you also should make yourself knowledgeable enough [about relationships] to know if its wise to go. Meaning: there is no point in running for the hills if you'll just go through the same thing in any relationship that you would get into in the future. Realistically you should expect...some bullshit. That's just life. If you're living you're gonna go through bullshit, so naturally when you hop into the sub-folder of life that is a relationship...there will be traces of bullshit in there. Don't get mad either...because chances are you're responsible for a fraction of it...I could go on and on with this metaphor.

Contrary to this blogs somber feel I'm actually super content in my own relationship. I've hit my stride.

Big up to couples with long-term successful relationships. And to all my single folks don't be afraid to try...or not try...

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

back to this Jay-z ish for a second...

Some people's logic makes no sense to me at all... So when dude puts up a bunch of images on the screen that could or could not be connected to a sect, he's evil...but when said dude (as well as many other cats) was talking about selling drugs in their community, killing folks, and exploiting women...that was fine and dandy. People are hilarious.

Monday, January 18, 2010

I was just thinking the other day...

It must be great to be a successful singer, rapper, author, etc... Thought of writing something and then witnessing people just show your words love has to be an extraordinary experience. I'm sure said feeling is at least a smidgen of the reason that so many people pursue similar exploits and or blog. We all just want to be heard. We all love acceptance/love.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

another look inside

I don't say I'm fly for you to know.I say I'm fly for me to know.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Random thought...Somehow I got to thinking about the evolution of black hair...and how basically up to the civil rights movement both black men and women did the straight hair thing commonly. Afterward dudes pretty much abandoned the straight hair look...give or take a 5 or six years of jheri curls and did he natural thing.

Now the guy in me that likes rooting for the home team would like to think that guys just held on to those lessons longer than our female counterparts...but I'd be (for the most part) wrong. Because when it comes down to it... most dudes don't do shit unless it makes them look good in the eyes of women.

So my theory is that women (again..." for the most part") just weren't having that cats went in another direction.

I haven't the slightest clue what that means for black women. I'm pretty sure that women have different motivations so the rules are different.

Again folks...this post is not to say one texture is better than momma has straight grandma...and I love them all dearly. This blog comes as most of my blogs obtain understanding. I just got to thinking about black peoples hair history and realized that not too long ago (about 40-50 years ago)black guys were rocking "the Fonz" hair cuts.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

another dope super mario post

Monday, January 11, 2010

F'd up trivial fact of the day...

Hitler invented the blow up doll.

During WWII Hitler wanted his soldiers to be able to have their needs met without getting involved with foreign women and messing up their so-called "purity". So... he ordered plastic bodied females be created for them. Blonde hair, white skin, large breasts and lips,and oh yeah...a plastic vagina.

You don't believe me...look it up. Just when you thought those damn things couldn't be any creepier, ya find out they were brainchild of quite possibly the most evil dude of the 20th century.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

I gave you power

I'm a firm believer in this concept...

If enough people believe in something then it is reality

Every year parents around this planet tell their little children that on the night of December 24th Santa Claus flies from the North Pole from delivering toys to all the good little girls and boys... As we all grow to be adults eventually we come to realize that there was no fat white dude delivering those toys. It was our parents busting their asses to bring us happiness all along.

Now if you are one of those people who always think of everything in the most literal sense...then no Santa Claus doesn't exist. I on the other hand choose to differ. Santa Claus is indeed real.

Santa Claus is an institution. Every year people make billions of dollars off of his likeness and off his story. People go broke keeping the fantasy alive. Santa Claus is a driving force in our economy.

Remember : Money = Power

With that said, one whom dwells in reality must remember that we gave this fictional entity this power. We did. And if tomorrow we were all unified in denouncing this fictional entity then it would cease to exist and have power.

What am I aiming at?

I watched the "On to the Next One" video on NYE and though I was quite inebriated at the time I was like "Wow..that's a pretty dope video. On some avant garde type ish". Then the following day I'm making my rounds on the net and I see like a gang of folks losing their minds over this shit. On some... blah blah blah Jay-z worships the devil...blah blah blah Jay-z is a mason...blah blah blah blah Jay-z is apart of the illuminati. I then proceeded to revisit the video myself. And to be honest the visuals do appear to be cued by what he's saying in the song. One example of this is when he says " I used to drink crystal" they show 3 bottles of milk heavily shadowed...symbolizing a black presence on a white entity perhaps (3 being a reoccurring theme in the video to play up the Blueprint 3). He then says "but them niggas racist" and the visuals show the milk lit up revealing its whiteness.

So I'd probably be slightly naive if I were to say that the video didn't seem to be somewhat symbolic. But who's to say what any of that shit means? Many Christians are up in arms because they say that the horned skull is demonic and that the rosary between the 2 bullets is disrespectful to the which I say...who the hell said what represents the devil in the first place? When the Bible speaks on the Devils appearance in the Bible (and talk about it in animalistic sense) they either refer to him looking like a serpent or a dragon. There is no mention of a long horned cow so where is this symbolism coming from? And as far as the rosary between the 2 bullets is concerned... How is that disrespectful? Seriously. First and foremost I'm almost positive that a good majority of the folks freaking out didn't even realize it was a rosary (a religious tool specific to Catholics). This one puzzles me. Maybe one of you can help me out because I'm honestly clueless as to why someone would be offended by this. Is it that bullets are so close to the cross? What if he swapped out the bullets for bananas or liquor bottles or paint brushes...would it still be offensive? If you want to be offended, then probably so.

I'm not gonna pretend I have all the answers. When I write blogs like these it's usually in search of a deeper understanding.

I do know one thing for sure this is nothing new to me.

Friday, January 1, 2010

How to have a great New Years 101 (Jay feev edition)

1. Go early to a "Not so live party", get expectations lowered quickly, then leave.

Initially my plans for New Years Eve was to bring it in with family. At the end of my family's annual Christmas get together one of my older cousins had informed me that our aunt was renting out 2 rooms at one of the nicer casino hotels in the area. She made it seem like we'd all just come together in the rooms, eat, drink, and be merry into 2010. When I came to the rooms at 10 o'clock I didn't see none of that. What I did see though, was a gang of hyper ass children. When cuzo had pitched the party I thought to myself what are they gonna do with the kids, but I assumed they'd get a sitter before they'd bring em out to alleged festivities. I assumed wrong. And after about a half hour worth of "what the hell did we get ourselves into" glances between my girlfriend and I, we decided to get the hell out what had became the fanciest Chuck E. Cheese ever and go to another party.

2.Go to another party dressed fresher than every other guy there.

So we left the other get together telling everyone there "we were going to the club". Truth is I don't really like clubs so that was never really an option. Even when I was single clubs were never my scene. I don't really dance, the music usually sucks, and I rarely got any play...smh. But lucky me, that wasn't even an option. While driving my girl tells me we're headed to an apartment party.

As soon as we entered the party one of the hostesses took my girls coat and since I didn't come in with a coat she made a joke commenting on my freshness in the process. No biggie, but a brother likes a compliment none the less. I then look around the room and it becomes very apparent to me that I'm the freshest dude in the room. The dudes there were either rocking sweaters, sweatshirts, or those wack ass t-shirts with all those swirlies, wings, skulls, and shit. You know the ones that stamp the word "couture" on them and think that if they put a bunch of trendy shit on a shirt at the same time that makes it fashionable...Real niggas ain't falling for that shit. But I digress. Another thing I noticed is that I was being noticed. I don't know if there is a dude more clueless than me when it comes to reading signs females send, but there was only one way to read the eyes of the ones that were looking at me...I looked good.

3. Get inebriated (drunk).

Alcohol when used somewhat responsibly can make shit funner. And when I say somewhat responsibly I'm talking about
  • Everybody knows their limit
  • Everbody knows "how to drink"
  • Nobody crosses any lines while drinking
  • Everybody gets home safely after drinking
Me and the GF knew the rules and had bought liquor coming into "Chuck E Cheese". We even started drinking there...yeah I know...I know. Upon arriving at the apartment party we were pleased to see that there was a plethora of wonderful libations waiting for us. People were already "nice" when we arrived.

4. Have miscellaneous chick boost your ego.

So yeah...yadda yadda yadda freshest dude there. Was feeling good about it, was feeling better when one of the chick confirmed that my observations wasn't just my ego gassing me up. The fucked up part is, SHE WAS SOME OTHER DUDES DATE!! She basically had been shooting me glances from the time I walked in. I actually knew of the dude she came with. And as the party progressed she basically tried to get on on the sly. She introduced herself, asked to take pictures with me, and then asked if the the woman I was with was my girlfriend.

5. Have your girlfriend express her position

As soon as ol girl had got all Chuck Woolery on me, I guess the GF picked that shit up on the radar. She came immediately from across the room, kissed me, and grimmed the shit out of the miscellaneous girl. The girl then decided it was was to keep faking it out with her date...smh.

Note** This is probably the ONLY scenario where having your girl express her position is cool. Most of the time that shit comes off hella insecure.

6. Play spades and dominate

7. Take lots of pics and bond with folks

8. Get home safely

9. Smash

10. Pass thee fuck out