Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Why Soooo Serious!!!

Man have you ever sat and thought about why in the hell hair is so important? These relatively thin ass strands on top of our heads carry a lot of weight. I mean, I don't know about ya'll but a hair cut has been known to turn my day from shit to shine.

I had the chance to visit the Detroit Institute of Arts (an art museum) awhile back and I found these...

These are artifacts were taken taken from the Shona culture, the people out of the Republic of South Africa. Reportedly, these are "pillows" meant to help black women maintain their hairstyles over night, because the Shona people "consider hairstyles as critical indicators of status"...Damn son...Some things change, some things stay the same.

I wish somebody would've communicated the importance of hair to the barber I went to the other day... Maaaaan... I guess it was partly my fault. I went to a barbershop in the mall because they are the only shop in town which operates on Sunday. And well...the shop looks like a circus...
Nah nigga...
There are fuckin clowns on the wall, some of the barber chairs are elephants and airplanes, and "Horton Hears a Who"was playing on the tv...
Clearly, my bullshit senses should have been tingling...But I asked dude if they cut adult hair and he said yeah...

So I sat and waited while dude cut like 3 ankle biters with similac on their breaths.

When my time finally came... I jumped up...Like "Finally, I can get this foolishness up off the top of my dome!" Dude was very tedious with the cut. I asked for a low taper and somehow dude took like an hour and a half...Obviously, trying to milk a tip outta me...But when he muh sukka got to my facial hair I sensed something wasn't quite right.

Ya see...my mustache and beard don't connect right...So I immediately started to panic when this ole Jack the Ripper ass nigga kept lining that part of my face up. I'm sitting in the chair telling myself to man up, like "Jay your singing voice ain't live enough to pull off that cryin ass nigga swag...Leave that shit to Lenny Williams and Ursher"...But then dude applied the alcohol and I turned str8 bitch made on the inside...lol.

2 days later my ass woke up looking str8 up like

May whomever is in charge of exacting Karma be merciless....


  1. ouch. no bueno. that teaches you to stick with what you know...sometimes it's good not to experiment.

    and those artifacts...ouch seems like you'd wake up with a killer kink in your kneck.

  2. LOL damnnnn...yeah, there's got to be some type of deal where God hooks you up for whatever BS you did in your life...i.e. He'd cut up your barber homeboy, do surgery on a bogus doctor, etc...lol

  3. bahwhahhhahaha bet you'll never go there again!
    I took a HUGE L by going to another stylist because I was in SUCH a rush to get my hair done...as a result of being impatient, I had to cut my shoulder length hair off...as short as Rene on Zhane. I mean, I have the head to pull off the tennis ball look but I was NOT a happy camper and I cried in my bathroom on the floor like someone had just raped me...I felt so violated.

    I've learned my lesson and I will wait it out for the goodness that is my stylist. LOL

  4. Say, c'mon fam.. you knew better that to roll up in there.. I don't even feel bad for you.. Obama's in office now, we GOT to do better..

  5. ^^Damn son I don't know whether to laugh or be serious about that like I got raped comment...**slowly backing way...lol

    ^Jay you're right. I could see if Obama had a fucked up bowl cut with no attempt to blend it into a fade...but now I have no excuses