With a flow like this why has he been droppin so many bricks?

Jay_fever Circa: 12/13/05

wrote this a couple years ago

"Night shift"

I walk with my eyes closed,
body motionless,
while my mind goes
bump in the night
Stubbing toes
Looking for the light switch
The right chick
Oops
I mean the right …*CLICK*

Let there be light
Lord please
Let there be light quick

They say
"Sunshine mends the rain"
Yet it seems as if I'm working the night shift

Jinkies!!!

For the past past couple months the ideal of duality has been in my mind like a brain wrinkle. The idea that every human being has the ability for both good and evil has been fascinating the fuck out of me. I'm pretty sure its starting to influence my artwork too which is a blessing, because I've been searching aimlessly for quite awhile for artistic direction. I think I may have finally found it. Definitely more to come.

Going Hard for graphic design...

Tattoo magazines usually feature a lot of tattoos - as you’d expect. But where do you go from there? Tare Lugnt, a swedish magazine, have gone beyond the call of duty by making their third issue a tattoo. It’s a little extreme, to say the least, but it is an eye catching way of making a magazine. No word yet on what they’ll do for issue four. (Source: Selectism.com)

Here is a video of the tattoo artist at work...



That's right folks...they actually tattooed the text of their issue on a human being.

New Rule

New Rule: If your life was ruined by Facebook's changes, you didn't have a life. This week thousands of people freaked out because, after leaving MySpace for Facebook, their pages were changed to look more like Twitter. I wish that sentence wasn't possible in the English language...

--Bill Maher

A little Microwave poetry for ya...

I wrote this a looooong time ago.
It's called "Birth Squared"




I was birthed in ignorance

Rubber ducked me
I'm the one...

That got to the egg

9 months later...
Birthed in truth

The truth is hard to swallow
Doc spanked it out so I can breathe

Ignorance is bliss

18 years later
I've been choking ever since

Can a brotha get a burger??

Damn Paris...was all that necessary? And they call Americans "up tight". Sheeessh!!! (Source: Kanyeuniversecity.com)

Wow!!

As an artist I can't help but to give props for the creativity and the skill that it took to create this... OUT OF CASSETTE TAPE!!!! So much props to you iR15 (thats what the artist calls him or herself.) (source: Drawn.ca)

Smile...You know you want to

For all my gamers...

A more realistic rendition of Lara Croft by artist TIm Rhodes....lol

Sometimes I forget how genius this show is....

"What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?" --Mr Burns (The Simpsons)

F*** Kobe and Lebron...

Nobody handled a rock like this man right here...PERIOD


Michael Jordan Best Dunk from Protomelas on Vimeo.

Disturbia

Now if you've been following my blogs for awhile now, you know already that I'm a pretty accepting dude. I've gone through enough craziness in my life to know that this is a crazy world and that everything isn't always "black and white". Now, I'm no saint (if even such a thing truly exists) but I'm doing pretty good so far.

With that said lemme begin the short story...

So I'm chillin at the crib right and My girl tells me that she's had a very weird day and she wants to tell me about it. And one of the stories is that one of her good male friends from high school just contacted her and told her that he is now a she. She follows up by saying that the cat actually looks pretty as a chick. I think to myself "Yeah right"

I mean we've all heard a story about those cats that has caught a dude slipping and either gotten killed or gotten their ass whupped because of it. Then you see the pic of the dude and you're like how the fuck you couldn't tell son...dude got a jaw line that you could cut a steak with...smh. Shit I know as a youngster I used to watch those Maury shows just to make sure I could tell them muh sukkas apart from the real. For the most part they were pretty easy to spot. On some fucked up Where's Waldo/ back page of Highlights type ish....

One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn't belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?
--Mr Hooper (Sesame Street)

Wait a minute muh sukka it looks like you put on ya makeup with a shotgun...MAN!!!!

Nah nigga... I've seen more authentic looking breasts in a bucket of KFC...MAN!!!!

You ain't fooling nobody son...Looking like you got a hand transplant from Barry Bonds. Ya job just called they're tired of replacing keyboards your ass is fired...MAN!!!!

Any who... fast foward back to the day in question. She says dude is pretty as a chick. I pay it no mind. Then she pulls up the cats page on Facebook and shows me. I instinctually search for a mannish characteristic and...

I didn't see one.
The shit scared the shit out of me.

Some muhsukkas need to start wearing signs or something.

The end...smh.

I'M RIIIIIIIIIIIICH!!!!

How should I spend my money?

This dude is hilarious

I've been up on Aziz Ansari ever since I saw his (now cancelled) show Human Giant on MTV. The show is hilarious and so is his stand up. Check him out doing one of his characters...Randy.

Facebook is playin me on the picture tip....

So here are some of the goodies I've found through various websites...Things I either want or find interesting...

A brass knuckle chair...I think this would go into the same category as the one ya Grandma had back in the day...that furniture that no one actually sits in.

I don't even like Congnac. I just thought the bottle looked dope and that it was crazy that it costs 1 million wham whams.

For those cats that have to stunt even when their lives are in danger...lol.

This is dope. I'd have one of these at my in crib bar.

Can I have my stapler (C) Office Space...I might blow up an office too if somebody stole this joint from me.

It's a pipe toilet. I don't think I'd like this in my crib. But I think it looks interesting.

A round pool table...hmmm...I wonder if this makes the game easier or harder???

This is an Ipod dock...I don't even own one...but I would get one for this.

This is a table/weight bench...one of the most practical things I've ever seen...or maybe not...You'd have to Frebreeze the hell out of that joint...and the living room would probably smell like butt after you'd finish.

A dream of mine to have one of these in the crib. I'd be really redundant and have it right outside my basketball court...lol

This is dope
This is doper

One of the freshest fooseball tables I've seen. The wood and steal blend perfectly together.

I'd pour alcohol into it and then real corny like...ask people if they want shots...lol

A watch table...FRESH!!!!

Its a coffee table that plays cds and mp3s

A "chopper chair"...looks a little kinky.

The kid in me loves this. I'd be the cat with this in the backyard and NO KIDS

An extremely live pool table. I think it would've been liver if they made it all metal though.

The dopest knife block I've ever seen

Why am I considering this?

(Source: BallerHouse.com)

One man’s misfortune can be your gain. For $1 Million (or best offer) this eBay seller will let you punch him in the face! The poor schmuck posted the listing as an attempt at making some quick cash in our current bearish economy, making the out-of-work New York banker who wore the “hire me” sandwich board look almost-respectable in comparison. From the human punching bag’s eBay listing, here’s more information:

• “I will travel to winning bidders location so he/she may punch me in the face
• You can punch me either bare knuckled or with regulation Boxing or Mixed Martial Arts glove
• I will stand perfectly still while you deliver the punch and will only wear a mouth piece for protection
• If requested, I will do my best to accomodate the winning bidder by verbally insulting them, wearing offensive clothing, wearing ‘look-a-like’ masks, etc…
• I will sign a full wavier obsolving the puncher from any damages the punch may incur upon me.”

-----------------------------------------------------

Wow...if I hear that dude actually gets a mill I BS you not...I'm hitting up Ebay with the quickness...lol

Just desserts

So, last Friday me and the cousin went out and participated in our yearly ritual. That ritual you ask... Every superhero flick that comes out in the theater, we go see on the first day. No matter what. It's been that way since "the days of Underoos"--Biggie.

I kinda played him out with the Dark Knight (I took my girl to see it first because he had to watch his kids on opening day...and ended up seeing it with him like after I had already seen it twice.). He's been giving me the guilt trip about ever since so I promised that I'd see Watchmen with him first like we usually do.

Anyways...So the day in question, cuzo decides to go see it early because he sensed a crowd. After all, Watchmen has had some of the best PR a movie has gotten in a grip. And after "Dark Knight" people are hungry to see another mature super hero flick.So we go in and sit down and right after us a couple and their 3 Adolescent ass kids sit right in front of us. So I'm like "FUCK! Don't these muh sukkas know this is an R movie!" Not really thinking it from a point of being responsible as much as thinking I don't want these lil muh sukkas to fuck up the movie for me. So to avoid that hassle cuzo and I go to the other side...And I dunno if we stepped on a trigger for a trap door or somthing but as soon as we sat down the theater turned into a damned day care center. I'm talking at least a good 15-20 kids all under 8 years of age.

Kids running down the aisles
Standing up in seats
Eating popcorn next to a megaphone and ish.

A pair of em sat right behind me and didn't quite get the concept of whispering. Lil muh sukkas just because you speak extra breathy doesn't make it a whisper!!! You would think dudes vocal chords were hooked up to some Rockford Fosgate 8x9s. I'm in the D though...and the fact that they were brought up in R rated flick in the first place probably means that the parents ain't got it together their damn selves...So instead of voicing my opinions I shoot em a look every now and then. Trying to tell them to "shut the hell" up through the power of telekenesis and ish.

So as the movie progress it becomes EXTREMELY obvious that Watchmen is FAR from a movie for kids. And boy did I get a kick out of. There is like a 5 minute sex scene in the flick. Just coincidently the noisy kids behind me got silent as fuck when it started going down. In fact all the kids got pretty silent. One of the kids running up in the aisles stopped mid stride. A child on the other side asked loudly "What are they doing?" And me...I laughed...LOUDLY... the entire time. Basically, my middle finger to all those parents who take their kids out to R rated flicks and eff it up for the rest of us. That's what y'all get.



As for the cats wondering how the movie is. Here's what I have to say...

• It's not the traditional superhero flick...so if you're expecting that...chances are you'll be disappointed.
• It's an extremely dark movie
• It's long (almost 3 hours)
• It's an experience: very lush visuals, it comes off more like a book than a movie
• A pretty nice soundtrack.
• I liked it.
  

A very special shout out to...

My girls period.

"My nigga" (said like Denzel in Training Day)



Just Cause I love my nigga
[You] shed blood for [me] nigga
Let a nigga holla "Where my nigga?"
[Every month] all I wanna HEAR
is "Right here my nigga."

ARF!!! ARF!!! ARF!!!


Ladies you just don't know. As much as it sucks to actually have one...to us the news of another period is like a warm hug from ma dukes.

Aww... sooooo... comforting!!!

Me: So you're saying I can continue to spend my extra dough on beer,kicks, and t-shirts!!! Good looking out!!!**Daps her up...glances at a pic of his male cousins (all of which are fathers), laughs to myself (but not too loud...as not to offend the baby gods), grabs a beer, and sits Indian style in front of the tele to watch cartoons.**