Friday, January 1, 2010

How to have a great New Years 101 (Jay feev edition)

1. Go early to a "Not so live party", get expectations lowered quickly, then leave.

Initially my plans for New Years Eve was to bring it in with family. At the end of my family's annual Christmas get together one of my older cousins had informed me that our aunt was renting out 2 rooms at one of the nicer casino hotels in the area. She made it seem like we'd all just come together in the rooms, eat, drink, and be merry into 2010. When I came to the rooms at 10 o'clock I didn't see none of that. What I did see though, was a gang of hyper ass children. When cuzo had pitched the party I thought to myself what are they gonna do with the kids, but I assumed they'd get a sitter before they'd bring em out to alleged festivities. I assumed wrong. And after about a half hour worth of "what the hell did we get ourselves into" glances between my girlfriend and I, we decided to get the hell out what had became the fanciest Chuck E. Cheese ever and go to another party.

2.Go to another party dressed fresher than every other guy there.

So we left the other get together telling everyone there "we were going to the club". Truth is I don't really like clubs so that was never really an option. Even when I was single clubs were never my scene. I don't really dance, the music usually sucks, and I rarely got any play...smh. But lucky me, that wasn't even an option. While driving my girl tells me we're headed to an apartment party.

As soon as we entered the party one of the hostesses took my girls coat and since I didn't come in with a coat she made a joke commenting on my freshness in the process. No biggie, but a brother likes a compliment none the less. I then look around the room and it becomes very apparent to me that I'm the freshest dude in the room. The dudes there were either rocking sweaters, sweatshirts, or those wack ass t-shirts with all those swirlies, wings, skulls, and shit. You know the ones that stamp the word "couture" on them and think that if they put a bunch of trendy shit on a shirt at the same time that makes it fashionable...Real niggas ain't falling for that shit. But I digress. Another thing I noticed is that I was being noticed. I don't know if there is a dude more clueless than me when it comes to reading signs females send, but there was only one way to read the eyes of the ones that were looking at me...I looked good.

3. Get inebriated (drunk).

Alcohol when used somewhat responsibly can make shit funner. And when I say somewhat responsibly I'm talking about
  • Everybody knows their limit
  • Everbody knows "how to drink"
  • Nobody crosses any lines while drinking
  • Everybody gets home safely after drinking
Me and the GF knew the rules and had bought liquor coming into "Chuck E Cheese". We even started drinking there...yeah I know...I know. Upon arriving at the apartment party we were pleased to see that there was a plethora of wonderful libations waiting for us. People were already "nice" when we arrived.

4. Have miscellaneous chick boost your ego.

So yeah...yadda yadda yadda freshest dude there. Was feeling good about it, was feeling better when one of the chick confirmed that my observations wasn't just my ego gassing me up. The fucked up part is, SHE WAS SOME OTHER DUDES DATE!! She basically had been shooting me glances from the time I walked in. I actually knew of the dude she came with. And as the party progressed she basically tried to get on on the sly. She introduced herself, asked to take pictures with me, and then asked if the the woman I was with was my girlfriend.

5. Have your girlfriend express her position

As soon as ol girl had got all Chuck Woolery on me, I guess the GF picked that shit up on the radar. She came immediately from across the room, kissed me, and grimmed the shit out of the miscellaneous girl. The girl then decided it was was to keep faking it out with her date...smh.

Note** This is probably the ONLY scenario where having your girl express her position is cool. Most of the time that shit comes off hella insecure.

6. Play spades and dominate

7. Take lots of pics and bond with folks

8. Get home safely

9. Smash

10. Pass thee fuck out


  1. Sounds Like A Awesome Time!

    Lol @ Your Girl Expressing Her Position.

  2. haha loved this post. same shit happened to me but vise versa lol