"Gotta hustle smarter than that"

It's a dangerous game getting excited about something around your girl if that something has nothing to do with her. It's like playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun. You already know the outcome.

Guy: Man I really had a great time hanging out with the fellas yesterday!
His girl : How come you don't ever take me out with the fellas?



Guy: I was finally able to write a whole poem today!
His girl: How come you don't ever write about me?



Guy : I can't wait to get these paintings done so I can finally get working on putting together an exhibition!
His girl : How come you don't ever paint me?



No matter what the situation you tell her about, from tic tac toe to space travel, she's always gonna wanna steal your joy be apart of it. It's just something dudes have to deal with.

My most recent offense, I made the mistake of getting excited around her about getting back into basketball. Until last week I hadn't had a chance to really get into a game like I wanted. I used to be a basketball court regular. Cats recognized me. I was in shape. My mid range shot was Brita water. Somehow, the past 3 years have made me stray. I've gotten out of shape. My hops/ legs need serious work... I may not be able to boom anymore (**single tear falls). last week though, I found a glimmer of hope. I finally got a chance to hit the rec. I worked out hard in the gym first, then went to the courts to shoot around. At first, as to be expected, my shot was str8 but like a Luke video...But eventually I started to get that old feeling back. My homey ended up hitting the court and we got in two games of one on one. After the second game I thought I was through (I was tired, and my confidence still wasn't built back up),but my homey convinced me to stick around and join him in some games of full court 4 0n 4...Bottom line... I was cash for 4 games straight.

In the middle..."DRAWS!!!"
Mid range..."PANTIES!!!"
Three point..."SPLASH!!!"

It was a lovely experience. I went home smiling from ear to ear. My girl took notice and asked me what was up. And I told her the story...and immediately after in my head I was like "FUCK!!!".


My girl: Why won't you teach me how to shoot?

So today was the day. I went into the rec pretty much dreading it. I'm sure she took notice. We started out just working out and I finished my workout first. So I was able to get into nice shoot around before she even noticed I was gone. I was hitting em pretty steady from jump this time around. I zoned out so tough I didn't even notice her sitting sideline until the ball had bounced her way. I thought to myself "Maybe she forgot." Just as that though entered my mind, a couple went on the opposite end of the court and started a game. Cat's were str8 od'in. Muh sukkas were laughin and giggling and shit. I thought to myself "These muhsukkas are gonna get me in trouble." So I bit the bullet and called my girl over. She was waiting for it. I saw it on her face. So I then told her the basic form of a jump shot and let her do her. After all, that's all you really need. The rest is just a lot of practice. Come to find out though, she has extremely little basketball experience. There were parts of the shoot around that could've made America's Funniest Videos. On top of that she complained constantly and didn't know the concept of "make it take it"...I felt like a str8 up MADE coach.

I won't say it was all bad. Eventually she started hitting shots and stopped complaining as much. That part was pretty cool actually.

So I guess with the outcome some would think that I would be feeling warm and tingly and shit...and the end would somehow justify the nonsense...

It Doesn't...but I'll take 45 minutes of wasted shoot around time over a 45 minute argument any day.



THE END